CCR

https://youtu.be/MK9ukrCSdHo

Here it is, A start to my career.

https://jocma4.wixsite.com/acommonmisconception

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v9RKEEBt-M

Reflection Time

As I wrap this project up last minute, I can't help but feel absolute relief. I had a story from the beginning that I wanted to show. A message I looked so hard to portray. The film is not exactly what I wanted, some components of the shots did not come out how I wanted them, however given this quarantine I feel incredibly proud of the message that I have conveyed.
Looking at the film at the end, I feel that I skimmed on the line of a montage, which is something I did not want to do, the more that I reviewed my film, I saw that it worked out for me, the story is there and it shows what I wanted to show. I got to play around with independent filming, and acting at the same time. Something I was so afraid of doing.
This process has definitely been eye opening, and I as I charge on to adult hood, this class has been my gateway to a new path. It was through this film that I was finally able to decide that this is what I want to do, I want to learn and get better at this. With this film I came upon the choice to attend the University of Copenhagen in Denmark to study Film and Media Studies in 2021.
It might not be the best. It definitely is not exactly what I wanted. It's the beginning of my story. The first piece fully done by me, my first step into what seems prominently my life.
I thank Cambridge and Tina for this opportunity. I truly hope you enjoy my film, take it as you will.

A Change of Name

As I start to complete my editing, I soon notice that my name is still in Spanish. With the limited resources that I had and the quarantine not making my life any simpler, I had to choose to keep the main language English. For me this is quite disspoiting since I based so much of my reasearch and my challenge on the ideal of a bilingual movie. However I understand that it is one task I just could not reach at the moment. My actor who was supposed to speak Spanish could not help me film, and my back up actor did not speak Spanish. I felt that having the short film shift back and forth between languages would be far too confusing for the audience. So I chose to change the name, and with that change of name my narration became more concise and clearer.

One thing I had to do was base a lot of my short film on the main characters train of though, at first I was quite afraid of doing so as Tina had warned me that it could come it very bad. I think the mix of dialogue and scenes alongside my narration works well. I truly hope you do too.

Editing Day 1

So I'm in absolute tears, some of the shots that we took did not come out how I wanted them and I knew this would happen, not being able to be my own cinematographer is tough.
We'll have to make do, but I really do think when all this is over I will re shoot this.
Thankfully I made an outline on Final Cut Pro of where I wanted to go with the shots so the process is starting off very easily and I'm not loosing my mind over it. I feel confident that this will turn out good underneath the situation that we are in.
The thing that does bother me is how I had this image in my head of how I wanted it to come out and now I'm actually editing it and it is not looking how I want it.

There are some shots I want to re-do and I have time, I'm going to be cutting it short but it will be done. I feel highly confident about it.

XOXO Media Nerd

Shooting Day 3

So today was weird. I had to kiss a girl, but I did not like the shot at all, so I don't know if it will be in my final product. Today we wrapped up shooting, it didn't take that much time and we got the shots done in time. We also re-shot some of the shots that I wasn't fully satisfied with, the good part being it was different outfits so, when I edit the film I'll be able to mess around with the time-frame and move around the time and make the film look right.
I really did like how the weather is different in every shot so the story can move in a more enticing way, making it look like this problem has developed over time, and the story moves in a compelling way.
Today was also the day that we shot the frames where Ashley is be herself which for me was so powerful cause I actually got to shoot them. I love being able to be in control so this really worked for me.

I will start editing very soon.

XOXO Media Nerd

Shooting Day 2

So we had a very impromptu day of shooting, I was off from work and had done very minimal editing on the shots that I already had, I was actually ignoring it because this portfolio causes me a great deal of stress. I hate the fact that this quarantine has limited my creativity, having to act in the film and not being able to work the camera has made my time shooting this a living hell. I have to explain to my brother how I want every shot to work, how the zoom should go and how to focus it, from what angle and how long. Which makes the preparation for every shot 10x worse, plus acting it out with one of my closest friends, pretending to be straight causes some very hysterical moments.
Today was much tougher than the first day, we reshot some scenes that had already been shot so I could decide which one I liked better. Yet today took many more takes than I expected, we weren't getting the ambiance I was shooting for and as much as we tried not one of us was satisfied with what we're composing.
We are set to work again tomorrow to finish up the shots, hopefully this goes over smoothly, I don't know how much more of this I can handle.

XOXO Media Nerd

A Rainy Day of Shooting

So, Friday got pushed back to today for shooting but it went fantastic.

The shower scene came out amazing and every other scene we got to shoot did too. We got most of the scenes shot well and I'm quite proud it. I really do hate the sound on the shots so I'm working on ideas on how to fix it. However I do have 4 more shots to film so I need to wait until Wednesday to film them. I'm also working on a title scene for the movie and deciding how I will introduce the name, I also picked the song, finally. It really fit the mood that I needed.

We changed the trajectory a little and some scenes had to completely change to adapt, but given that we threw them together while in the process of filming they felt real and compelling. I really liked them.

I had my brother Eitan help with the filming and I had to explain to him how I wanted each scene shot and the camera movement as well as the movement of the focus which for me was such a big deal and he did not seem to get it. I will start editing tomorrow at work, it's slow lately and I'm allowed to use my computer so might as well use the time for progress.

I'll be in touch, just know that its coming out great.

XOXO Media Nerd

Post Card Completed

So I've been so caught up in filming that I completely ignored the other factors of this portfolio, so today I sat down and got to work.

I started the website and quickly began to cry, because I have so much footage that I need to insert into this website and I have very little work, Friday Really can not come soon enough, I need to film this damn thing and start editing so I can actually compose a compelling film. The stress is starting to reduce because I got the two small factors of this project down. I also did a little planning sheet to be able to have this project concluded and ready to go by 04/12 so that I can do my CCR and be able to submit by 04/19. I film this Friday that gives me a stressful week of editing to get this to how I want it and then from there proceed to work on the little tweaks and re-shoot anything left.

The website needs some tweaks but the postcard is done and I really do love it, I'm uploading so you guys can take a look at it.

Filming is soon. I'll keep you all updated.

Tina's Word is Considered a Commandment in my Book.

Following my last post, Tina advised for me to be the subject of my own film. Crap.

Okay let's settle some discussions. I love being behind the camera, I like guiding people. That's exactly what I wanted with this project and I really thought hey this could work. Given the situation with COVID-19, it looks like taking this piece of advice is my best shot at succeeding in this project. One main point to consider is, I know how to express the exact emotion I want throughout the film, and after stressing about it enough it is much easier to swallow my pride and just use myself as the actor than try to pull together a whole lot of nothing while quarantined.

Filming will be on Friday with Ashley Keene, a close friend of mine who luckily is my neighbor and filming has been simplified.

I have quite a good relationship with Keene and I think that the chemistry could work on screen to portray what I want to show with this film.

I'll keep you all updated, I guess now I have to stand in a shower and be filmed. Great.

SLAMMM on the BRAKES

I write to you at 3:00 AM as my mind tries to process the very little work that I have for this short film. I'm reaching a completely new level of stress and I'm on the verge of a breakdown.

With that aside let's speak obstacles. Sean is no longer allowed to leave the house, and given that the only footage I have is with Sean it seems like I have hit a crossroads. The footage has been rendered useless and I need to come up with something fast.

I really have no idea what I am going to do this at this point because it just seems quite bleak.

I think my best shot here is filming with my brother, but I do not know how comfortable he is portraying a gay character. I also feel awkward asking him to do something like this for me, but it seems to be my only choice.

Other things to consider, my mom and dad have both asked me to not bring anyone over to the house during these times, both my parents being 60 and with an everlasting list of past medical inconveniences it makes sense for us to take extra precautions. yet again it makes this film even more difficult.

I got this, I know I do, I just need to process.

I'll rendezvous with you all soon.

XOXO Media Nerd.

Second Day of Shooting? NOT !

Yesterday was supposed to be filming day 2! That did not go as plan, Sean's parents didn't let him out of the house and Julie had to run errands. This whole situation has thrown scheduling out the window and I'm trying to pull together whatever I can. As of right now I have 30 seconds of raw footage, with no voice over. I have a script that no one can come over and read. I have shifts at my job that I need to go to, and everyones agenda is just convoluted with multiple different things to do. With Tina's extension on this project I'm not as scared because I know I have a lot of time to do the remainder of the film. However April is almost starting and I'm going to start freaking out. My stress level is 100% at a 10 right now and I'm scared of how this is going to roll over. I'm ready to go. Now I just need to shoot. When will this happen? I do not know.

What I do know is that the scene from within the shower is absolutely fantastic. The slow zoom out and pan on the upper torso of Sean was excellent and the lighting worked out (with some help from Adobe Aftereffects)  I was able to perfect the scene so you see as much of him as I want you to, and leave the rest for you to wander about.

I'm thinking of mixing up new scenes, with the same script and information just in different locations.

Like Always I'll keep you updated.

XOXO Media Nerd.

First Day of Shooting?

So today was my first day of shooting. Did not go as plan, actually quite tragic. The first scene takes place within a shower. So trying to set up my camera within the shower has not been simple to say the very least. I had to change every single actor as my pool has become tight with the conditions that we find ourselves in. I currently have Sean Murphy as my main character, the shot was very fun to do, as he had to be standing in just underwear for it. It was quite the odd sight from an outside perspective. The problem was lighting. My Nikon D780 is quite good with low lighting, but you need some sort of light for the lens to be able to focus correctly. With the water running and an oddly placed phone flashlight I somehow managed to to get the shot that I needed. A quick 30 Second clip that combined with audio would begin the synopsis of the film. I wanted to the audience to get a quick view of the problem this teen is expiricing, and I thought what better way to do it.


After 10 tries I got the ideal shot and things were looking up. I was however supposed to get more shots done today alongside Juliana, but she was not able to make it to the filming location due to the quarantine. As public parks have closed, I had to rearrange the scenes, and change the setting obviously. The scenes where the couple speak about their problems and how one of them is gay was going to take place in Markham Park. Now it'll take place in the lake by my house.

Julie should be able to do some filming tomorrow. I'll keep you all updated.

XOXO Media Nerd.

Tina, We Have a Problem

I had to cover some odd shifts at the take out counter this weekend trying to make ends meet. Thankfully I got to work today with one of my close friends who was going to give me a hand with this project, which led to well, a slight mental breakdown at work. Abel's parents are of an older age and they have asked him to quarantine for their safety. We had planned to start filming some scenes tomorrow since none of us had work. It seemed like I was finally going to get this going and now I'm stuck again, with non-essential businesses closing and life getting complicated I'm loosing my mind over what to do. I want to get this film done but it looks bleaker and bleaker. I really thought that this was going to work out and now I'm a little confused as to what to do. I'll be getting in contact with Tina tomorrow to figure out my next steps. I don't have much else to say at this point. I'll be back.


XOXO Media Nerd

What Now?

I spoke to a close friend of mine today for him to help me out with some original sounds for my film, I'm going to take advantage of the time I'm spending at home to figure all this out. As the COVID-19 virus continues to spread through the world things are changing heavily, I work full time as a server at a local restaurant to pay for my bills. All the servers were laid off today, the dining room has been officially closed. I find myself with more free time to work on this portfolio but at the same a new level of stress I have not had in a while. Time to figure things out and start to really push for the success of this project. I'm staying at home and trying to allow my creative juices to flow, I really need to figure this project out, I really hate the circumstances that we are sustaining right now. I refuse to adapt even more to the situation but I can't find a time where we can all film, both of my actors attend FIU and given that their spring semester has gone online my chances at one day where we can all film have become slim. The important factor is Abel is comfortable with the shower scene and some of the expressions of sexuality, we have been working together on the most appropriate way to describe sexuality in a monologue, both of us being part of the community has been highly beneficial to my work. I think this could be finally going somewhere, with the extension to turn my piece in I have enough time to re-plan a shot list and get a better script. Let's see if we can do this the right way.

XOXO Media Nerd

Actors and Shoot Days

With the situation in the globe today the project started to look bleak. I had a very difficult week before this all started to happen and my mind is just trying to adapt to all the things happening in the now. My main concern with the ideal of social distancing is the concept of certain scenes of my short film. The major coming out scene was supposed to happen at a party, and I no longer feel that this set of shots will be a possibility which brings me in a sense back to the drawing board. I need to create a different storyline to be able to successfully convey my message. The good news in this I found two actors who are willing to work with me through these difficult times and are comfortable enough to do the specific scenes that I want. I have chose to shift the storyline in hopes of being able to actually record if the COVID-19 continues to spread as it is at the moment. The storyline shifted from my original idea to film during a party scene to making the film a little bit more emotional. Shifting to the perspective within a heterosexual relationship where one of the participants is dealing with their troubling sexuality. I want the emotion to come from both sides of the relationship and to be able to develop a since of understanding from both sides of the relationship. This change is the most adequate one that I could find to be able to work through these isolating times. My creativity is really struggling right now and I'm really giving my all to do this the right way. Some friends of mine Juliana and Abel will be helping me complete this project.

XOXO Media Nerd

COVID-19, you can go back to China, Please

So news broke today that school Is cancelled for the time being given the COVID-19 epidemic. I guess I'm taking this blog the personal route once more. With all the major universities going online I personally I don't see Cypress coming back to normality, which makes me feel oddly sad. Being that it's my senior year I feel quite upset that I'm missing such quality time with my classmates, it's really sad to think that this could last well into august. I had so many great things planned for this summer and COVID-19 is making everything seem so bleak. I'm really starting to get concerned for this project, and I had such high expectations for this work. I'm really afraid of what is going to happen, and I fear that the government will implement a lockdown, and what then? I have a million things roaming in my head and these times are just getting harder. I need time to think. I'll be back.

XOXO Media Nerd

Este Soy Yo?

So here is how the film will work. 

Shower scene will introduce the difficulty that the main character, who will remain nameless, is experiencing. I want the shower scene to be quite, but show to some extent the amount of pain in the individuals eyes, I want the suffering to be noticeable and the pain to be extreme. I do not want him to speak because I feel like it defeats the purpose. This scene will also be dark, with minimal light, my Nikon D780 is pretty good with low light settings so I'm hoping it's enough to do this shot in absolute darkness. 

The film will transition to a date between my main character and his girlfriend, in this scene I want to develop a sense of one sided happiness. Having her being really invested in the moment and him noticeably distant. I also want to embed a mirror scene, where we get a contrast of both characters, one really confident in herself and happy with life, while the other struggles with self image and their identity. 

The epicenter of the film has to be their conversation about sexuality. In which both parties reveal a mutual interest in the same sex and understand each other for their sexual orientation. This scene is highly influenced by an experience I personally had with someone very close to me, and it absolutely changed the way I looked at things. 

Due to my change in story line I'm still working on the concepts of it. Will keep you updated. 

XOXO Media Nerd. 

Shifting the Story

So now we are at a crossroads. I feel like my idea needs to shift to engulf a stronger perspective of emotion. The current storyline with the big reveal being towards a friend seems cliche and overused. I need something that really yells "DIFFERENT" I want to inspire my audience in a whole different level, the question is how. With all these news of the virus spreading and starting to become worried I won't be able to execute this the right way. At the same time, Funeral is tomorrow for Diego, let's just say my emotions at this moment are all over the place and I'm trying to understand where I stand. I haven't had much energy to go to school and my moods are not doing to well. Just trying really hard to understand life at this point and I need to do everything in my power to block these feelings from flowing into my work. I seem to change my work as my mood changes, I want to stray away from a dark piece and continue my work in a bright and happy piece. I really am trying to continue to push happiness and not sadness.


XOXO Media Nerd

On a Personal Note

Today I write to you on a very personal level. As you have probably figure out by now this story sticks very close to me because it's highly influenced by my own story as I came out to my friends and family. I want to discuss some emotions that I'm struggling to deal with and maybe putting them on my blog will allow you all to understand some aspects of my creativity. I came out in 2017, when I first started my current job, and I met some great people. People who were there to support each other and love each other, instead of finding yet another job, I found a family, people who understood each other and truly wanted to see each other succeed. There was one specific person who really made an impact on me and helped me to believe in myself. His name was Diego Ortiz. We had what you could call a complicated friendship, he had a certain level of toxic masculinity to him that bothered me, at the same time he showed a high level of care for each and everyone of my problems and conversations. He was truly interested in my success and happiness. When I told him I was gay, he had a difficult time understanding it but in the end he helped me become more comfortable in who I was. Alongside my coming out came many troubles at home, and Diego seemed to be the only one who would notice when I got to work upset, he would drag me outside and make me talk to him. He was truly invested in making my days better and worked with me to make my self esteem higher. He tried so hard to understand the things that I was going through and would remind me constantly of the fact that I was like his little brother, and all he wanted to see was me being successful and happy. I never really realized how much his words meant to me, it's hard to analyze the impact that someone has on your life. On Sunday 03.08 I lost Diego to a car accident. At 21 years old a perfectly kind should was gone. Someone who inspired me to be myself and love myself and not allow anyone to tell me otherwise. This film, and the remainder of the work I do to express sexuality for its beauty will be dedicated to him, for being an ally to the community and putting religious bias aside, for simply being one of the best humans to impact my life.

Excuse my rant, this one was highly personal. For Diego.

XOXO Media Nerd